How to date as a single parent

Between dropping off and picking up the kids from school, juggling their extracurricular activities, birthday parties, numerous doctor’s appointments, your job, the endless house chores and sleepless nights, you might well be wondering where to find the time and strength to date as a single parent.

To date as a single parent can feel overwhelming — but it is entirely possible, and can even be beneficial for the whole family (happy mum or dad = happy children).
You don’t have to stay single forever or wait until your kids are 18. Even if you often get the impression that finding time in your busy schedule is nigh on impossible, discover our best tips to help you free up time and manage dating as a solo parent.

Are You Ready to Get Back Into the Dating Game?

Knowing whether you’re ready or not can be tough. Everyone has their own opinion about what is the appropriate time to dive back in and there are as many arguments for as there are against.
However, if you’re always talking about your ex and comparing them with the people you’re dating, it might be too early.

Additionally, if you don’t feel that you have room for another person in your life, don’t force yourself. If, on the other hand, you’re fairly sure that you’re ready to date again, continue reading. You might also want to explore our guide on how to find the right co-parent if a romantic relationship isn’t what you’re looking for right now.

How Can I Find Time to Date as a Single Parent?

‘I don’t have time for this’ is often more of an excuse than an actual lack of time. If you want to date as a single parent and find love, you will find a gap in your busy schedule. Fortunately, there are little things which will help you organise your life better and give you the time to finally get to know your dates.

Schedule in Advance

There is little room for improvisation. You’ll have to plan ahead in order to make arrangements and find someone to look after your children. If it’s your weekend with the kids, don’t send them back to your ex or co-parent just because you have a date. Spend time with your children — they need to know they’re your top priority.

Using tools such as co-parenting apps or a shared agenda can be really helpful when it comes to organising shared custody or babysitting arrangements. You’ll get a clearer idea of your obligations and free time.

Find Support

If you are co-parenting your child and sharing custody, take advantage of the moments that your kids are with their other parent to date as a single parent. You could also make an arrangement with your co-parent and agree to look after the kids for each other when needed.

If you don’t have a co-parent, there is always the option of calling a babysitter. You can also get closer to other trustworthy single parents and agree to be each other’s babysitter. According to the NHS, building a support network is essential for single parents’ mental wellbeing — so don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Where Can I Find Other Singles?

You used to meet people in bars or nightclubs and now you find yourself at the playground or in front of the school? Technology can be your best ally. Dating websites are a great solution for those who hardly meet anyone dateable in their day-to-day life. You can even register with a site dedicated to single parents looking for love or co-parenting.

Via your smartphone, you are able to look for dates on the bus, during your lunch break or at home. Moreover, you can always meet other singles in parks, at the zoo or even whilst picking the kids up from school.

How Much Should I Share?

What to Say to Your Children

What to say to your kids depends on their age and personality. Whether they are 3, 8 or 15, let them know that you’re seeing someone — but keep it simple. Tell your kids that you love them more than anything but you also like spending time with new people. If they ask questions, keep your answer short before changing the topic.

What to Say to Your Dates

It’s best to be honest and say you are a parent from the beginning, even on your profile on the dating website. You don’t have to write an essay, but at least mention it. You’ll have time to talk more about your child, your custody arrangements and your co-parent later, if things work out. When you date as a single parent, transparency from the start saves a lot of complications down the line.

What About Sleepovers?

Most people prefer to wait for the kids to be away from home, whether they are with their co-parent or at a friend’s house. If you want your date to spend the night, it’s best to wait for the relationship to become more serious.

As an adult, you might also wonder how to make the most of an evening when you need to be back at a certain time. A solution is to start your date directly at your partner’s place rather than in a restaurant. You can order food, cook together, watch a film or enjoy a nice talk — and let the magic happen.

How Should I Introduce the Kids to My New Partner?

Thinking of introducing your children to your new partner? First of all, make sure that what you have with this person is serious and stable. Many children get attached quickly and become upset when a relationship fails. You also need to take your kids’ ages and feelings into consideration.

Let your children decide whether they want to meet your date or not — forcing them will only create resentment. If they agree to meet, opt for a familiar place such as your home or their favourite restaurant. The meeting should be brief and casual to avoid tension or pressure.

For more tips on managing family life as a solo parent, read our guide on co-parenting tips for better communication and our article on dating and single parenthood.