Choosing a Known Sperm Donor: What Recipients and Donors Told Us

A known sperm donor is someone the recipient has met and identified in advance, whether a friend, an acquaintance, or someone found through a platform such as CoParents.co.uk, as opposed to an anonymous donor selected from a sperm bank catalogue. To understand how people actually feel about this route to parenthood, we surveyed our own community of donors and recipients, and the results paint a clear picture of why so many people choose a known sperm donor over an anonymous one, and what they expect from the arrangement once a child is born.

What Is a Known Sperm Donor?

Unlike an anonymous donation through an HFEA-licensed sperm bank, this kind of donor is identified before conception, either because the recipient already knows them personally or because they have met through an introduction platform. This route can involve treatment at a licensed clinic, a private arrangement, or a combination of the two, and it gives recipients far more say over who their child’s biological father will be, including how the donation itself takes place.

Our Survey: Why People Choose a Known Sperm Donor

Our survey, which received 134 complete responses, set out to understand more about the ages, motivations and profiles of donors and recipients. One of the clearest findings was that every single woman who had previously received donated sperm said she would gladly do so again for a future pregnancy, whether from the same donor or a new one.

Among respondents, one in four women had used a sperm bank to find a donor, while a quarter had gone through an online connection service instead, reflecting how many routes now exist for anyone hoping to start a family this way.

Attitudes Towards Using a Known Sperm Donor

More than two thirds of women who had not yet received sperm (70.14%) felt there was no stigma attached to donating or receiving sperm, while fewer than one in five felt there was. Overall, this route is viewed overwhelmingly positively by those who need it, whether the arrangement ends up being known or anonymous.

Interestingly, over a third of these women (37.31%) said they would prefer to meet any future donor in person, effectively opting for this kind of arrangement, while just over half (50.75%) said they would actively prefer not to meet the donor at all.

What Male Donors Told Us

Male respondents shared some equally revealing findings about their own experience of acting as a known sperm donor:

• Among donors aged 22 to 42, the overwhelming majority (six out of seven) had donated on more than one occasion.
• Nearly three quarters (71.43%) said they would gladly repeat the experience to help others.
• Just under half of respondents said there was no stigma attached to sperm donation, showing that many men feel comfortable acting as this kind of donor for people they have met and got to know.
• More than 85% of men said they would not expect to meet the recipient of their sperm prior to donation, suggesting most male donors default to an anonymous rather than a known arrangement unless specifically asked.
• Only 6.25% said they had never donated because they disagreed with sperm donation; most simply said they had never felt the need to.
• Half of those who had never donated said they would do so if donations were needed in their local area.

Who Responded: Sample Overview

Of the full sample, just over half of respondents were women (53.7%), 42.5% were men, and a small minority (3.8%) did not state their gender. The most common age group was 42 or over, at more than 60% of respondents, while only 0.75% fell into the 18 to 21 age category, suggesting our community skews towards people who have already given the decision considerable thought.

Most respondents were based in England (71.43%), with 15% from Scotland, 6.7% from Wales and 1.5% from Canada. Among women, just over 5% across all age groups had previously received sperm, most commonly due to male fertility issues or not having a partner while wanting to conceive. Among men, 12.28% of those aged 22 to 42 and over had previously donated, both to help others start a family and, for some, to earn money alongside that motivation.

What Recipients Look For in a Known Sperm Donor

For women who had previously received sperm, health mattered more than any other factor when choosing a donor: 50% ranked it as most important, compared with 25% for wealth and 25% for intelligence, a clear ranking that held steady across almost every age group in the sample. This suggests that when people evaluate a private or known donor, medical history and general health outweigh other characteristics by a wide margin.

Half of this group felt a donor should not be involved in the pregnancy itself, though the same proportion also said they would like the donor involved in the child’s upbringing, and three quarters wanted to know their donor as a person, which is only realistic with this kind of arrangement rather than an anonymous one. Only 4.47% of women who had never received sperm said they would prefer to adopt instead.

Involvement and Contact With a Known Sperm Donor

Deciding how involved a known sperm donor will be in a child’s life is one of the most important conversations recipients and donors can have before conception, and our survey suggests this decision is rarely made lightly. Our survey found that 41.79% of women believed the donor should not be involved in the child’s upbringing at all, while 76.11% did not think donors should be asked to contribute financially. Half said they would prefer to meet the donor again if they needed sperm in the future.

Most male donors did not expect to be involved in the pregnancy, the child’s upbringing, or to provide financial support, though just over 42% said they would be willing to be involved from birth if the recipient specifically requested it. Agreeing on ongoing contact expectations with a known sperm donor in advance, rather than leaving them unspoken, tends to prevent misunderstandings later.

Legal Considerations When Using a Known Sperm Donor

Choosing between a known and an anonymous donor carries real legal implications, and it is one area where survey enthusiasm and legal reality do not always line up. According to HFEA guidance for patients, using this route through a licensed clinic still removes the donor’s legal parental rights and financial obligations, whereas a private arrangement outside a clinic can leave the question of legal fatherhood far less clear cut.

Parental responsibility itself depends on a separate set of rules. As GOV.UK explains, an unmarried partner typically needs to be named on the birth certificate or sign a consent form at a licensed clinic to gain parental responsibility, regardless of whether donor sperm came from a known or anonymous source. For this reason, our guides on donor parental rights and on drafting a co-parenting agreement are worth reading well before treatment begins, particularly if you and your donor plan an ongoing relationship. Comparing known versus anonymous donor routes in more detail can also help you decide which approach genuinely suits your family best.

Frequently Asked Questions About Known Sperm Donors

What is the difference between a known sperm donor and an anonymous one?

A known sperm donor is someone the recipient has met and identified before conception, whereas an anonymous donor is selected through a sperm bank without the recipient knowing their identity in advance.

Do most people prefer a known donor or an anonymous one?

Our survey found responses were fairly evenly split: over a third of women who had not yet received sperm said they would prefer to meet their donor, while just over half said they would rather not.

Does this kind of donor have parental rights?

If treatment takes place at an HFEA-licensed clinic, a known sperm donor has no legal parental rights or financial obligations, in the same way an anonymous donor would not, although a private arrangement outside a clinic can carry more legal uncertainty.

Can the donor be involved in the child’s life?

Yes, many recipients and donors agree in advance on some level of ongoing contact, ranging from no involvement at all to a more active role, though this should ideally be discussed and documented before conception.

What do recipients look for most when choosing this kind of donor?

According to our survey, health was the most important factor by a clear margin, ranked above both wealth and intelligence when recipients described what mattered most in their donor.

Choosing between a known sperm donor and an anonymous one is a deeply personal decision, and our survey shows there is no single right answer, only what works best for your own family, your own comfort with future contact, and your own sense of what your child will one day want to know. If you are exploring your own options, CoParents.co.uk connects intended parents with donors and co-parents across the UK in a transparent, supportive environment. Register for free to get started.