• worries about men who donate alot

    Posted by ___deleted-user on 30 December 2010 at 21:24

    Hi,
    I am looking to see if anyone has similar worries to me, I’ve found a donor who I trust completely, but I was contacted by many donors who seem to have donated multiple times .. my worry is that if someone donates alot there maybe more chance of half siblings meeting or even having relationships in the future .. (as seen on Jeremy Kyle lol)
    I know its their business, but was interested to see if anyone else felt like that.

    ___deleted-user replied 13 years, 4 months ago 1 Member · 14 Replies
  • 14 Replies
  • ___deleted-user

    Member
    1 January 2011 at 18:57

    Are the chances of that happening really that big, It could happen at anytime not just with donors but in the “normal” world
    Jamie

  • ___deleted-user

    Member
    2 January 2011 at 13:22

    I think it’s more about looking at why there is a desire by some men to reproduce in excessive numbers. Are their donations truly altruistic acts or are offers to father children driven subconsciously or consciously by an egotistical desire to have lots of mini-mes?

    Yes, it can happen in the real world and if you look at the demographics among some groups where relatives marry and have children, that seems to correlate with a disproportionately higher incidence of children born with disabilities/conditions. I’m no geneticist, but you don’t want to increase the chances of recessive genes becoming dominant from parent to child. I think I may be out of my depth, so i’ll stop there!

  • ___deleted-user

    Member
    2 January 2011 at 15:38

    Well I first thought about it when one donor who contacted me had six pregnancies in that month due, if that was a typical month that adds up to alot of children with same father a year never mind a decade of donation, in close areas too perhaps .. of course it can happen in as you say the “normal” world, but maybe a little less likely .

  • ___deleted-user

    Member
    2 January 2011 at 16:10

    Hi Claire,

    You’re not alone in your concerns about some members donating several times over. I’ve replied already but it’s awaiting censorship 🙂

    Summer

  • ___deleted-user

    Member
    2 January 2011 at 16:45

    Commercial clinics view about 10 successes as an expectable risk, although some view this as being conservative and a larger number should be allowed.

    The problem needs to be taken in context compared to other risks, for example its estimated that 1 in 20 children don’t know their true ‘biological’ father (or worse think its someone else).

    If the child does know their origins (recommended) then they can at least take precautions when they do decide to have children of their own.

  • ___deleted-user

    Member
    3 January 2011 at 12:18

    thanks Summer for your private email… that person is exactly who i was talking about .. seems i;m not the first or last to be concerned…

  • ___deleted-user

    Member
    13 January 2011 at 12:11

    With the current population here in the UK currently standing at 62 Million then what’s the chance of them ever bumping in to each other let alone marrying and having siblings together! But i do agree there should be a limit to how many times a guy donates, I’ve limited myself to a maximum of 10 but I’m nowhere near that yet. Good point you made there though!

  • ___deleted-user

    Member
    16 January 2011 at 11:39

    I haven’t yet donated, but I’ve made myself a promise that I would donate to only one person as I don’t fancy the idea of having umpteen siblings wandering about not knowing each other.

  • ___deleted-user

    Member
    1 February 2011 at 22:12

    thanks guys ..
    I just thought it was a topic that needed to be voiced .. good to hear from male perspective .. Much appreciated.
    :ugeek:

  • ___deleted-user

    Member
    1 February 2011 at 22:17

    thanks guys ..
    I just thought it was a topic that needed to be voiced .. good to hear from male perspective .. Much appreciated.
    :ugeek:

  • ___deleted-user

    Member
    4 February 2011 at 10:07

    As a male, I find donating so much to be strange. Not sure of the reason why someone would want to be so ‘active’.

    Personally, I am looking to donate to one person/couple once or twice, then I will be happy.

    Not sure if this helps…. 😀

  • ___deleted-user

    Member
    17 February 2011 at 10:00

    All (especially Clair and Summer), As a male you have as much right to choose your match as does the match the right to choose you so it needs to be a considered and careful decision, if you look at the genetic pool you would run into trouble if you looked at only donating in your local town of the “Genetic Sexual Attraction” issue later in life of the children that you would be fortunate enough to create.

    Given that donations through unapproved routes (ie not a clinic) are not protected from CSA investigations there is allot of trust on both parties to getting the match, trust and level of honesty right. Sometimes you chat with an enquirey and you realise that the box ticked BA Degree- earning $80k pa might have been an honest mistake (i am the sort of person that hates SMS Text in emails)and the fit isnt right…. and sometimes you get to talking to someone where you know that it’s just the right thing to do- irrespective of distance or relationship status. As much as we look for the right traits in a match (looks, education etc) you also have in the back of your mind the social background and moral construct (attitude, work ethic, disposition) of the people on both sides of the equation

    As a guy who is looking to donate for all the right reasons who doesn’t want to do it to massage his ego i would rather be in a position to help 2 or 3 couples achieve a dream rather than have a small army of children with any woman that had a pulse- if i were a woman and a guy boasted of having 6 different children born in one month and heavens know’s how many more then i’d run a mile (but then again it may just appeal to certain volunerable groups). Hat’s off to the chap as he is very fertile and has allot of free time and limitless cash resources should one of his childrens mothers decide that he can contribute from salary, the 40p/mile revenue stream and future income for the next 18years- which is her legal right and doesn’t constitute access to the child.

    So i guess i’m saying it’s horses for courses, some people may want a well proven match, some may want a lefthanded half afro-asian portugese speaker with a limp and some may want a 4ft2 guy and some a 6ft4 guy- it’s all about needs and preference and there are no wrong answers- just all i’m saying is that there are dangers on both sides and as always when shopping it’s a case of “Buyer beware” on both sides but please everyone for whatever reason use whats between your ears.

    oh and as a guy AI really does mean AI !

  • ___deleted-user

    Member
    6 March 2011 at 14:31

    yeah i agree with brian also on that one if thats means anything.

    cheers karl

  • ___deleted-user

    Member
    7 March 2011 at 18:10

    hi to be honest with you look at it like this i have 2 kids youngest is 3 i love them both to bits, and i think this way is a real way to help other people in less fortunate circumstances then me, to complete a cycle that’s natural progression for us all, without kids we are nobody, no point us being here if we don’t keep the family name going ,and this in turn makes so many faces smile when you get the young children come out with the real funny stuff that makes it worth all the issues you get with the kids during the growing up years hey.thats why i do it so if theres anything wrong in that please tell me where im going wrong.

    karl

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