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What options does a man like me has?
I tried monogamy, but it didn’t work for me. I’ve endured many breakups in my life; they are soul-crushing. I consider myself fortunate to be able to stand back up after those painful experiences.
I can’t keep doing the same thing and expect a different result. Unfortunately, I used to put others first, giving them all the power and attention. Yet, they always found faults. It was never enough. I thought to myself, I’m not 18 anymore; I can’t keep playing this game of love where I disappear so the other person lives in paradise, and I’m blamed for everything.
Somewhere in the world, a man has more than one woman, and he comes home to them, and he is happy. Maybe the wives are happy, or maybe they aren’t. The same goes for one-man, one-wife scenarios—some are happy, and some aren’t.
It feels like I was sold a scam in Christianity when they said, “husband of one wife,” while ignoring Abraham, Jacob, Moses, David, and many others who weren’t monogamous. My grandfather had five wives. He was human too.
Anyway, I’d rather show up a few days a week, pay child support, tell my kids lots of stories about the animal kingdom, and invent tales that make them laugh. I’d take them to the park, change diapers, and share with them my Nigerian meals that would light up their taste buds. I’d make them go super fast on the swings and playground, screaming with joy, “Daddy, more! Faster!”—instead of not doing any of it.
Whatever anyone thinks is right for themselves, let them do it. I’m not judging anyone. I would like a son whom I could teach the many things I’ve learned in life. And if I have a daughter, she will have an amazing father.
There’s a tribe for everyone. I am looking for mine.🙏
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1 Reply
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Well, you’ve definitely mastered the art of storytelling! Sounds like you’ve been through some serious relationship training camp, emerging battle-hardened with wisdom on monogamy, fatherhood, and love. You’ve got a knack for showing the brighter side of “life’s little detours.” And as for the grand idea of finding your tribe—hey, I get it! Every king needs his kingdom, his people, and his swings to push.
I say go for it: be the dad who takes kids on rollercoaster-worthy swing rides and introduces them to spicy, finger-licking-good Nigerian food. (rather you on this than me) Somewhere out there, I’m sure there’s someone who’ll appreciate that humour, big heart, and, shall we say, progressive philosophy on family life. So, hats off to finding your tribe—soulmates, mini-me’s, and all!
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