Temi
The advice I would give is to write down and define what you want from the coparent ‘relationship’. Coparent relationship is of course v different to a donor relationship as in the relationship with the coparent will exist for life.
So define what you want;
Geography…if you share a child how far will you travel to one another to share custody. It’s probably silly to coparent with someone who isn’t local.
Will you share custody and what proportion of time with each parent? Are you flexible enough to fetter this over time as circumstances change?
Expectations of financial support?
Has he involved / informed his family , and you yours. The more secretive someone is the more likely he is to run away?
You should confirm identities, check and build trust?
Build slowly, decide is this purely having a child or could you have a relationship that grows to love / living together?
Be sure your values are on the same wavelength…you don’t want one parent having massively counter views as it will create issues?
Discuss what happens if one of you die, re custody etc. Life insurance.
Most of this is common sense, go slow…build a rapport…talk stuff through and decide whether you want to write main elements of agreements down as recollections can vary over time. Don’t rush into it.
As coparents you have to be balanced…it takes two to tango and you don’t have all the control. It has to be broadly equal or it will breed resentment.
I wish you well, there are good donors and coparents here…trust your gut feel…and act safely.