"you musn't have other children"

by andyUK » 19 Jun 2013

I have had a message from a recipient that says - "You sound the ideal donor but as you have had a success donating before we cannot use you as our donor must have no children, only ours."

I felt that was really unfair and harsh, and to be honest felt quite hurt. Why should we be prevented from helping because we happened to have helped another person? I think that attitude is very selfish towards other women wanting help - demanding a donor only gives to them is almost like being married to them which is not the idea of this website? What do other people think?

by Irons81 » 07 Jul 2013

Surely the fact that you, and I have children, proves the fact we are actually fertile?

by Aleigh » 07 Jul 2013

Don't take it personally, I myself am asking the same thing only because I don't want my future child (God willing) to someday hook up with their brother or sister. That is the only reason I personally look for a person who is willing to co-parent (so my child knows who there father is) and also as I will not be romantically involved (but have mutual respect) I want my chikd to have their fathers sole attention. There are plenty of others who will not mind, however I've seen situations where a person hooks ups to find out that they are half-siblings or first cousins.

by yvonne7 » 27 Jul 2013

I can see that not wanting your donor to have other children is an interesting point but the downside of that is the donor may want to play a bigger part in your child's life than you are happy with. My little girl's dad was like that when he was with his American fiancée as she had said that she didn't want children ever so he saw my pregnancy as his only chance to have a baby and could be rather suffocating, on occasion. Thankfully we resolved the issue and he now plays a more appropriate part in our daughter's life




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