Regrets of being a donor?

by exioce » 05 Aug 2013

I signed up to Coparents mostly out of curiosity, to see what was going on after coming across a newspaper article or two. They made the process seem from the NI donor point of view somewhat seedy and from the receiver point of view somewhat desperate. No doubt there is some truth to that for both parties on some level, and as a male I won't attempt to paint myself as some angel above the titillating aspect of it all, but I expect plenty of normal stories the journalists encountered were left on the editing room floor.

My wife recently gave birth to an adorable little girl, as much a blessing as she is hard work. We wouldn't trade her for all the sleep we've lost, and I can understand that people who've seen their friends and siblings start a family would want the same for themselves but that their circumstance might make it difficult for them, and that's why sites such as this exist. If I could help anyone along that path I'd be quite happy, but being perfectly honest here the greater draw is simply the knowledge that there's lots of little me's running around out there somewhere. It's a type of immortality maybe?

You'd think then that being a red-blooded male and not having to have responsibility in most cases would make you jump at the chance, even with AI because it achieves that goal even without the physical pleasure. But then there's that... something that asks you "Are you sure you want to do this? What if this? What if that?" I find that strange given that it's a process that can be exceptionally discreet and (in many cases) has no comeback because the receiver wants no connection. I don't know how to explain my reservations.

I guess this is a thread to try to understand the donors, to see if they had the same fears, how they overcame them, and if after all was said and successfully done they have any regrets? Do you regret that there's a child out there whose life you're locked out of, most of all?



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