Message in the bottle UK MNE co parents

by lotaver » 11 Apr 2017

Imagine while you read this a single lady raised in lovely and carrying family, been let to pursue her own dreams, forgetting about your own needs and as a parent making sacrifices to provide for her education abroad even though you could spend all that money on yourself, provide unconditional support and care about every step she makes. I love my family very much. I was raised in the country hit by war and sanctions. Young people even today after years have passed struggle to find a job, run life free and live to the full.
My boyfriend the other day said to me when we had an argument you princess, this is relationship you know in relationship people argue. In fact the argument was made on man women ground and I felt his grief over certain issues he came across in relationships so he wanted to hide it from me. So he got into an argument, proving he is still capable to run a relationship. Yes, people argue but as he got out of long term relationship I felt he has to say more about love than I do, because he knew how to run a relationship. So I am standing there, and realizing the biggest fear, I cannot do it. I cannot run a relationship.. before I have a child.
I have always been blessed with love from man, but never knew how to run a relationship, so I ended up leaving. I never had my heart broken, always took care of that side, hoping that one day my future man will want that to be in place. Now, I don't even try to run relationships so I stay at late and watch these profiles posted here, hoping to find what? I am not sure. Will my child be loved as much as I was if I find someone to inseminate me. Single mother by choice. Are we doing the right thing for a child if we decide to bring it to the world without a partner, like I am planning to. Can I do it. Is my love enough for that wonderful new life. I think I would want this person in our life for the best of our child. So, I would seriously consider only donors open for relaxed co-parenting.
Running relationships is hard. Loving your man is a gift and practically easy I believe if you want to raise a child together. But should you stay in relationship even if it does not bring you close to that dream. No. Should you jump in and out of relationships, running around leaving scarfs, and saying to yourself I still have not found the right one with whom to have a child.I did find the right one, but he could not have a child with me when we were together. I said please go, I love you but you must go. I put the love for a child in front of a love for a man. It nearly broke my heart but my love for a child saved me and I grew instead with this love I have for a child on my own.
I spent hours looking over these profiles the other night, so many lovely couples searching for donors, I felt overwhelmed with love and hope. But single mothers by choice, how many of them willingly wanted to go through that without partners. Very few I imagine do it by choice like I am planning to.
I want that. I want to raise a child on my own. Is that selfish, I wonder. I do not ask these questions anymore, I want a child and I am ready to have it. I cannot put more love into running a relationship until I form as a mother. Maybe then I will be ready. My choice to turn to this site has been to find someone willing to inseminate me and bring me that joy of a new life. He has to be open minded, willing to do it together when necessary, put a child in the first place, co parenting a child in the healthy and loving environment. My donor would have to be an intellectual, filled with love and joy that rising a child brings. It takes love and courage to do it, I have it.
Do you have it? We must have it all here, right. So I wish you love and joy through this journey to all of you. Please do not be hard on your partners who are so much consumed by this search. Please do not argue with them, love them and support them all the way through. I am alone in this journey but love will find a way. If you are a serious donor open for co-parenting on a long distance please contact me via email [email protected] We will have a talk about everything that concerns child bringing and hopefully my child will come to this world in love and peace.
Thank you.

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