Looking for advice

by EmmaG » 20 Nov 2011

Hello
I'm totally new to this and at the stage of looking into co-parenting with a male donor. I'm a straight single woman seriously considering going down this road.
I'd like to chat to single woman online who's been successful in finding a donor and co-parenting with donor. What questions should be asked, is it advised to write up contracts (are they legally binding?), etc.
Advice would be most welcome.
Many thanks

by freckle » 24 Feb 2012

Hi Emma

I would like to be in touch. I'm in the same position. Single and looking for a donor.

Although I'm extremely new to this would love to hear about others experiences.

Marie

by Mallen » 17 Apr 2012

Hi Ladies
I would be interested in knowing how you went with this answer... I'm searching for a donor and would really like to hear from other women to know whether co parenting is a good idea as I believe it is important for a child to know where they come from and have some kind of contact with the donor (father) because if they don't it can cause hugh identity issues for the child.. But in practice does it work ??? especially between complete strangers...people i know comment that the father may try to take custody of the child after birth or as he/she becomes older... So is the paper contract legally binding???
I hope someone who is in this situation will answer and give a honest answer and talk about the good and bad that have occured due to co parenting..
Michelle

by AliElla » 04 Jun 2012

Hi Emma,

I'm in the same position as you were at the time of writing your note.

Did you get any useful answers? Has your situation changed since then? Any tips on where to get good advice from? I'm struggling to find other people who have done this.

Hoping to hear from you.

Ali

by Olive12 » 06 Jun 2012

Hi Ali,

I am not sure if Emma or the other girls are still looking on here, but I am in exactly the same situation and would love to chat. I will add you as a buddy. I have been looking into it a bit and below is an interesting legal website. There have been some court cases in the U.S. where fathers or mothers try to take full custody etc. So best to have a legal agreement.

http://www.nataliegambleassociates.co.u ... r-dispute/

Put in place a written agreement

Donor agreements (or preconception agreements) may not (strictly) be legally binding, but they are incredibly useful. I have always advised parents that putting something in writing helps with the planning, facilitates honest conversations and sets a framework which everyone will feel morally bound by, giving clarity and transparency and setting a really strong foundation.

However, it now seems they may be more legally binding than we previously thought. Although the issue is still untested (the parents in P&L did not have a written agreement, which I suppose comes back to my point that it is not the parents with properly prepared legal agreements who end up in court) the case suggests that the court will pay attention if there is one. Mr Justice Hedley said, in the strongest indication yet, that “the court will be bound to give careful consideration and weight to any such agreement“.

There is no standard format for a donor or co-parenting agreement, but having something which is accurate and personal to you (and prepared with a solid understanding of how the law applies in your particular circumstances) will be much more helpful than any standard pro forma.

If you need help with planning a co-parenting or known donation arrangement, or if you need representation in a dispute, feel free to contact us.

by Jens01 » 21 Jun 2012

Hi girls,

Im not sure if you are still on here but I am considering going down the same road but I'm very new to the whole thing.

Could we chat just to talk about your experiences so far? Would be good to meet some people in the same situation as me. My email is ******@hotmail.com

Thanks

Jen x

by sjm072 » 24 Jun 2012

Hi girls

I too am looking at venturing down this road, and looking for advice.

I have just found this site, so today is my first real look around.

what I can tell you is 12 months ago, I went to IVF Sydney (now Genea) and had my eggs frozen, and from all that I understand, when I find a donor, and I use Genea, I am legaly protected. from what I can see the Birth mother is considered the legal parent, and the donor doesn't have the legal custody, so to speak, but I suggest you all seek your own legal council, for each of your situations, which I also have done, out side of Genea

What I'm trying to work out is If I chose to Co-parent, what does that mean.

A couple of friends have suggested I write a list, of what I want, and why I want it, basically what are my bounderies in this situation? I Mean, we don't want visitation rights for some random person.

So maybe my choice is interstate. and Name and a christmas card, but open to the child/children, contact him later, for a beer or a soda, I don't know??

what I have done is spoken to a couple of my besties, with kids, to ask them to think of things, I should consider in thinking about what I want from a donor.

In my plans for this step, I also have asked a couple of friends, who are thinking about it, and one who's said I'm flattered, but no.

I guess, knowing the boys who may donate, give you a totally different perspective, & what you're willing to allow, consider.

Anyway, girls, not sure where, how you want to discuss this further, but please, I'd love to hear your thoughts, or findings......

Here's to successful 'donor/co parenting'

xx

by Holly19 » 15 Jul 2012

Hello

I have registered 15/07/2012 with co-parents.net meaning I am in the same position as most on this forum. I am considering co-parenting with a male donar, not immediatley. I registered to obtain more information about co-parents.
I am 19 years old and a single women. I'd ideally want to have a chat to an online single women who has been successful in finding a compatible donar or co-parenting with a donar and more information to what happens through co-parenting e.g. boundaries, if any?

Many thanks :)

by Tues38 » 18 Jul 2012

Hi ,

Just joined this evening and would love to hear stories of successful co-parenting. I would like a co-parenting situation that the Dad had good involvement in the child's life - similar to separated parents with a healthy, happy working relationship for everyone I suppose. Am I living in a dream world?

Tues




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