So, you’re ready to begin meeting donors?
Once you have compiled a list of possible candidates, it’s time to begin arranging a suitable time to sit and down and have a discussion with them. Here you will be able to ask series of questions that will help you to decide whether or not you’re both compatible.
Screening is an extremely important activity to undertake prior to signing an agreement with an individual, mainly because it can help to uncover any characteristics and traits that may either qualify or disqualify a potential candidate before you make your decision.
To assist your search, here at CoParents we’ve put together a detailed selection of the things you might want to ask, covering everything from family and medical history to hobbies and interests.
Please note that, naturally, every recipient is different, and may have more or less questions to ask. Please only refer to the items listed in this post as a rudimentary guide to help you frame your interview.
To start off, we advise that you run through a round of initial queries.
The reason being, that you could cover a lot of questions through the course of your interview, only to find out later that the candidate does not quite match up to what you were expecting.
If you are satisfied with these answers, you can then proceed to find out a bit more about the person.
What motivates you to donate sperm?
Asking this provides a great opportunity to find out why it is each person is happy to donate their sperm. It will also help you to judge whether or not the reasons the donor might have coincide with any plans of your own.
For example – A candidate might wish to donate in order to have contact with a child of his own, though this may not be what you were looking for.
Are there any other children from preceding donations?
By asking this, you will be able to find out two key things:
1) Whether or not they have successfully donated in the past;
2) How many other children he has provided for families in a similar situation;
3) If there is a limitation that applies to the amount of times a candidate can donate.
Do you want to be involved in the child’s life, and to what extent?
This is a very important question to ask as early on as you can. To avoid any potential legal issues later on, it is best to iron this out right away, particularly if you do not want them to have regular contact in the long term.
Would you accept to give up parental rights if requested?
If you do not want a donor to add to your child’s upbringing, it is good to ask whether or not each candidate can agree to this before proceeding.
What level of commitment to the pregnancy plan can I expect from you?
When possible, it is best to discover the commitment that your contributor can offer during the pregnancy plan.
If after a couple of months, you still have not fallen pregnant and would like to continue trying, you’ll want some kind of guarantee that the candidate will be happy to also carry on.
Personal Health & Family History
Uncovering numerous personal and family health problems in the early stages of selecting a donor is imperative.
With the answers you’ll be able to dispel any concerns that you might have about the health of your infant from a solely genetic standpoint.
Could you please tell me your age again?
The age of a donor can, in some cases, have a significant impact on fertility, and thus the chances of getting pregnant.
As a general rule, the older the gentleman, the harder it will be to conceive. Candidates should be aged 18-45, as older men are, typically, more prone to genetic issues at an older age.
What is your opinion of your general physical and mental health? When did you have your last check-up with your doctor and what were the results?
Here you can get a bit of an insight into the overall wellbeing of your candidate. It will also help you to decide whether you feel that there are any risks that may develop in your child as they age.
Can you tell me more about your lifestyle? Do you drink alcohol, smoke or use drugs, recreationally or not? If you do, how often?
This is a very important question to address as early as possible.
It’s no secret that regularly consuming alcohol, tobacco and recreational/prescription drugs can have a significant impact on male fertility.
Therefore, this will allow to judge whether or not the lifestyle of the donor in question is the best choice for you and your pregnancy plan.
Have you ever been diagnosed with any health issue that could represent a problem?
While the previous question may not have yielded an answer, it is always best to try and uncover details of any health issues that your donor could have experienced in the past.
What is your blood type?
Whilst this is not always an important factor, it can be advantageous to know. If you are able to choose someone with the same blood type as your own, the chances of this same type passing on to your infant are much greater.
This means that should your child need a transplant of any kind in the future, both the biological mother and father will have the same blood.
Would you accept to undergo a fertility test?
Finding out the fertility history of your donor, can save you both a lot of time and effort in the long term.
If a recent fertility test has been taken, and the results were positive then that is great for both parties. But, if a test has not been taken, a donor will need to participate in one before proceeding.
Would you be willing to tell me how many sexual partners you’ve had?
Whist it might seem to be a sensitive subject, the answer will help you to determine whether or not promiscuity outside of the programme will be an issue whilst trying to get pregnant.
Would you accept to undergo an STD test before we start trying to conceive?
Understanding the sexual health of each and every candidate is very important before engaging in sperm donation, for both mother and baby.
Make sure you, if applicable, that you find out any details of previously contracted STD’s beforehand.
Could you tell me more about your family medical history? Is there a history of heart attacks, diabetes, strokes, dementia or any other conditions I should be aware of?
After questioning you may find that your candidate does not have any current or pre-existing medical conditions. However, certain diseases and afflictions can tend to pass down from generation to generation, so it is always good to be thorough.
Could you tell me more about your family’s lineage or history?
Now this does not necessarily have to be asked on medical terms. But, in our experience, it is always nice to find out a little more about the origins of your prospect’s bloodline, particularly if you are expecting to share this information with them down the line.
Intelligence & Personality
Have you ever taken an IQ Test? If so, what were the results?
Not everyone will ask this of their prospects, but it can help to provide you with insight into what you can expect with regards to your infant’s academic aptitude.
What is your job?
The profession of your donor will not have an effect on that of your child’s in later life. However, depending on the nature of their work, this could help you to assume how academic or physical their skillset might prove to be.
Could you tell me more about your interests and hobbies?
Understanding the talents, hobbies and interests that a candidate might have provide you with some inspiration when it comes to helping your child pursue their own as they get older.